Date: Weds, May 11, 2011
Dear Bereaved Mom,
Bereaved. Bereft. I hate that dumb-ass word. No one in the real world uses it. Just us. Just us “bereaved” people that can’t find a real word that doesn’t suck. Just us that live just beyond the real world, where the sidewalk ends. Anyway, I read your words about R’s leaving and all. Oh, how I felt them. Did I write them? I read them and I wanted to tell you that at 2 years and 4 months, I’m still looking for her. I wanted to tell you that at 2 years and 4 months, the same amount of time that she spent on this planet, I still freak out when I only spot 3 in the crowd and not the 4 that I know I have. I wanted to tell you other things, too.
Did you imagine that you would make a hair appointment right after your child died? I sat in that chair some 70 hours after she died and had all my hair cut off. That girl with long hair had a dead kid. I’d like my short hair back, please. I sat in that chair and thought, “She must think I’ve lost my fucking mind.” I’m still not sure that I haven’t.
The gift of shock. I re-did Piper’s room from top to bottom the next day. Went shopping for new bedding. Didn’t want her to look over at her twin’s empty bed even one more night. When they wouldn’t sell me the floor model of the quilt I wanted, the one with the two little birds, I wanted to scream, “Her twin sister died yesterday! Just sell me the mother fucking quilt!” Wouldn’t that have been awesome?
Did you sit at that baseball game feeling like you were doing it all wrong? Like they all knew how to have a newly dead kid and you didn’t? My God, are they seriously at the School’s Winter Festival less than 24 hours after their kid died? I would have to be institutionalized.
I don’t know. I still don’t know much of anything. These are a few things I know:
1. Time does not heal all wounds. This is bullshit that makes other people feel better.
2. You are still capable of laughing so hard you cry.
3. Your children (and your husband) (and you) will be pretty much ok. This might piss you off. Your Brother Is Dead! Act Like It!
4. Everything is more beautiful and precious.
5. SIGNS are real. Don’t question it.
6. You will be pissed off a whole lot more. You will still be happy a whole lot too.
7. You will think that you, and everyone you love, have cancer.
8. They probably don’t.
9. You are insanely strong.
10. You don’t want anyone to tell you that you are insanely strong, because, fuck off, I’m not strong, I’m weak and broken, can’t you see that?! Why the hell am I grocery shopping?
So, there is a weird little list for you. It’s not official or anything. I just made it up on the fly. It might change tomorrow, but that’s what it looks like at just shy of 2 years and 4 months and a couple glasses of wine on a snow day in May.
Oh, yeah, I also wanted to tell you, that although everyone will say stupid things, it’s because they love you guys and love R. Or, maybe because they are stupid. People will reach out to you and try to offer advise and insinuate that they know a thing or two about how you feel or what you’re going through. They mean well. (I mean well) And it’s true, it’s the worst thing that you can live through, but you will think up even worse. He’s missing, but someday you will come to a place where you know he’s not actually “missing”. He’s got to be somewhere, because you can still feel his presence. It’s the parents of the actual “missing children” that I pray for the hardest. My prayer for you is that you continue to feel his presence and eventually find peace in knowing you will be together again. Whatever and whenever that may be. It can not come soon enough.
I’m so sorry that R had to go. I asked T to show him the ropes.
peace and love and tears,
Jessica
Tuesday’s mama
In an effort to not be one of those people who say stupid things (cuz I usually am the one staying stupid things) I just want to say how much I love you and your honesty. And that I think of you and all the Whitts every day.
#1 x 100000000000000
Just wanted to say hi and that I wish we never ever had a reason to have met. (in the nicest way, I mean that.)
Wishing things we so very different and there were a whole lot more kids in the world with us today.
xoxo
C
I hate not having the right words. Or even good words, for that matter.
Just know that I am praying always.
Thinking of you always.
Looking down every day, seeing my bracelet, and never forgetting.
Not ever.
Love you, my dear sweet friend.
Love from California.
sending love to you and hoping that it can spill over to any other mama/dada/family that needs a little more right now. thinking of you and piper and tuesday and your boys … xo, jess, as always
Just like the song, There’s a hole in your heart and you carry it where ever you go. There’s a hole in your heart in the shape of T. And now there’s a mama in AZ with a brand new hole in her heart in the shape of R. The sun still comes up, the stars still come out (2 are especially bright)…but the hole doesn’t go away. I know this but I don’t really know this. What I do know is that I will continue to donate to neuroblastoma (you and Tuesday taught me what that is) every year bc I’m a Mimi, I love kids and I hate when kids have cancer! Love you Jess…you still inspire me. Write that book!!! xoxo
Know that I care so very much and am still praying!
Psalms 31:1-3 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Prayer Bears
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Just wanted to I love you! That’s all! Think of you guys often!
“You don’t want anyone to tell you that you are insanely strong, because, fuck off, I’m not strong, I’m weak and broken, can’t you see that?! Why the hell am I grocery shopping?”
I get irritated when people say how strong I am. I guess it’s supposed to be a compliment or something, but it feels like an insult, a judgement. Does being strong mean I am supposed to hurt less? Do I love my son more if I fall apart? Well, I do fall apart., just not in front of people. 2 years and 6 months later, I fall apart. 20 years later, I may still fall apart. “Strong” is a heavy burden to live up to.
Thank you for writing honestly and from your gut and for not sugar coating anything.
Very well said – my son died on April 1, 2011 – complications from surgery for Neuroblastoma. I am out of bed now – but I am heading back soon – today has been a rough day. People are trying to be “nice” – even inviting over to the chaos of their house – as if that will help!?!
People told us all along how strong we were, and how they “admired” us….well, thanks, but I would have rather been a bum with a ‘normal” the last 13 months than have your admiration!
Love you. Very well put. She sounds like a woman who appreciates it!
xo
Jen
Did I write this list?? Of course you spoke straight to my heart as always. I think before Webb I might have been one of those people who looked at someone who lost a child and thought, “Why is she at ____(school, church, the mall)?” Well, because you dumb ass she doesn’t know where to go or how to be because it all feels bad and your stares are making her feel worse, but you can’t stay in bed every minute. There are no rules, no pills, no outings, no anything that will fill the hole. 1 day or 3 years or 23 years, it all still hurts. still thinking of you and Tuesday. xx
Your open letter is amazing, your family is beautiful, your Autumn Burke photo & song made me cry. I would love to forward a copy of your open letter 2 a dear friend who lost her 8 yr old daughter to DIPG on March 2nd I think it might help her and give her some comfort and another friend whom I know from high school her little warrior was just 5 yrs young when he lost his fight with NB. I see so many of the post on her page that say a lot of the “stupid” stuff (all with good intentions of course) and I think your letter will also help her. I will of course only forward with your permission. My e-mail is liznicola@yahoo.com 🙂
Praying in Seattle!
Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Prayer Bears
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Know that I’m continuing to pray!
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
Prayer Bears
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Always keep your eyes on the Lord! Praying!
Psalms 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
Prayer Bears
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Lifting up prayer!
Psalms 121:6-8 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
Prayer Bears
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Still here praying in Seattle!
Psalms 62:1-2 Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved.
Prayer Bears
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Stopping by to let you know I’m here praying!
Psalms 62:5-8 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Prayer Bears
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Am here praying!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Prayer Bears
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We have such amazing eyewitness testimony of Jesus! Look only to Him! Praying!
1 John 1:1-4 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life; (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;) That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ. And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.
Prayer Bears
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I too don’t know what to say, but know that I think of you, Tuesday, your family each day. I’m glad you see the signs and I pray they continue to be a part of your life. Praying for love and comfort and more laughter that brings you to tears…the happy kind.
The Lord is with you right now, lifting you up, giving you strength! Always praying!
Isaiah 40:28-31 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Prayer Bears
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Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers right now!
Psalms 28:6-7 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.
Prayer Bears
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I have no one missing, I have no one expected to leave anytime soon. I call you strong because you have the ability to DO, whatever that is. You DO get up to use the bathroom when I would probably just piss myself in bed, you DO go to a school function, you DO get your hair cut, you DO continue because, really, what choice DO you have? I am a RN. I stay far, far away from peds because I cannot DO it. I cannot see the sick, abused, neglected children. I am weak. I know I am weak and I am not going to change.
So, for you STRONG parents out there, on behalf of your children, your selves and weak people like me, keep rocking forward. And writing. I imagine I feel your pain, Jessica. I don’t. But each time I come here, my throat burns, wet stuff spills down my cheeks and messes up my glasses and I go hug my kids a little harder.
Lots of love from another someone you’ve never met 🙂
Lifting up prayers right now!
Isaiah 25:4 For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.
Prayer Bears
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Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
Isaiah 25:8-9 He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it. And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.
Prayer Bears
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What a tremendous comfort we have in the wounds of Jesus! Praying!
Isaiah 49:13-16a Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the LORD hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted. But Zion said, The LORD hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands…
Prayer Bears
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Praying right now!
Psalms 4:1, 3 Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. (3) But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him.
Prayer Bears
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Praying!
Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Prayer Bears
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Always a comfort being reminded that the Holy Spirit Himself is praying for you!
Romans 8:26-27 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Prayer Bears
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I don’t know how I found this, but I think you wrote this for me. Thank you. It is beautiful. I read about your Tuesday back when Ronan was first diagnosed. Your blog was the only one sat and read the entire way through and cried my heart out for you. Now, I truly know your pain. I hope R and T are up playing away together. I hope to meet you someday.
xoxo
We have hope because He is risen! Always praying!
Job 19:25-27 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.
Prayer Bears
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Know that I’m praying so at this end!
Revelation 7:16-17 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.
Prayer Bears
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Still praying hard!
Psalms 5:1-3 Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.
Prayer Bears
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Praying!
2 Samuel 22:7 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.
Prayer Bears
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Praying in Seattle!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Prayer Bears
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Praying right now.
Psalms 9:9-10 The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.
Prayer Bears
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The Lord knows everything you’re going through and is there with you every step of the way. Praying!
Hebrews 4:15-16 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Prayer Bears
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Continuing to lift up prayers!
Psalms 91:1-2 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
Prayer Bears
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Praying right now to the One who is with you always!
Hebrews 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Prayer Bears
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Know that you’re always in my thoughts and prayers!
Psalms 27:7-9 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
Prayer Bears
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Know that I care so very much and am still praying here in Seattle!
Psalms 31:1-3 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Prayer Bears
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We are always safe when we’re in the Lord’s Hands! Praying!
Psalms 31:5 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.
Prayer Bears
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What comforting verses! Praying!
Psalms 23:1-3 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Prayer Bears
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Can it be that I don’t know you but yet feel so much for you? Your pain, compassion and words to R’s mom – on one end I’m sorry you even can write these things to her, because doing so means you suffer the loss of Tuesday. I love that she visited you in the soup kitchen through that other Tuesday…..I love your words, feel your grief and am grateful that even in the suckyness of the days you reach out to others even still. Somehow God’s mystery fleshes out in what you do…..Tuesday is still a whisper in the wind, a twinkle in Pipers eye, a giggle from the boys…..keep breathing.
Praying in Seattle!
Psalms 23:4-6 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Prayer Bears
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Know that I’m still here praying!
Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Prayer Bears
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Always praying!
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Prayer Bears
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The Lord understands your pain! Praying!
Isaiah 53:1-3: Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Prayer Bears
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Christ went through all this for us, that we might have hope! Praying!
Isaiah 53:7-10: He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
Prayer Bears
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Praying!
Psalms 50:14-15 Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
Prayer Bears
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Know that I’m always here praying!
Psalms 116:3-7 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.
Prayer Bears
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Here praying as always!
Psalms 18:28-30 For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness. For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
Prayer Bears
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These words are some of the first Scripture ever written. What comfort these words give! Praying!
Job 19:25-27 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.
Prayer Bears
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I check your blog often. I have no words. Just please know that your sweet Tuesday has touched many lives. I pray for your family every day. Love from Indiana.
Praying!
1 Peter 1:3-5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
Prayer Bears
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Hey there. Just found your blog the other day, and have been reading through you guys’ story. We also have lost a child to neuroblastoma (just this November), as well as one to premature birth (he was born a twin, lived a week – the other twin is now 18 months old and seems to have no long-term complications).
I showed your blog to my wife Robyn, and we’re right on the same page as you. I wrote a post on our site recently and mentioned Tuesday, at http://thematthewsstory.com/2011/08/17/everything-matters/. We live in Tampa, but are in Denver one weekend a month or so – would love to meet you guys sometime and share a coffee and chat life etc.
Keep writing, your words are meaningful.
Breathe.
This is Tuesday’s mom. I got your comment and read your words.
Breathe.
That is as much for you as for me. I’m so sorry.
Please come to our home for dinner. We want to hug you and feed you. Please. I’m sure your Charley and our Charley will lighten our moods. Charley’s are good for that.
I’m serious. Please come.
With broken and understanding hearts,
The Whitts.
forever Tuesday’s mom
http://www.whatchagonnado.org
Breathe.
Know that you’re always in my thoughts and prayers.
Isaiah 41:10, 13 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (13) For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
Prayer Bears
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Dear Jessica, Charley, Spencer, Axel, Piper and Tuesday–Just wanted you to know that I think of you often. I am always in awe at the wonderful creative ways you guys grieve for and celebrate Tuesday’s life. I can’t really put into words how important and cathartic your blog is. You are able to put words to the feelings and thoughts of a grieving parent. Like I said, just wanted you to know that there are prayers for you all from Virginia Beach!!
peace, cindy lou
Continuing to lift up prayers!
Psalms 120:1-3 In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me. Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue. What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue?
Prayer Bears
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Praying in Seattle!
Psalms 62:5-6 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
Prayer Bears
My email address
Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
Psalms 139:7-10 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
Prayer Bears
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Lifting up prayers right now.
Psalms 37:39-40 But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble. And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.
Prayer Bears
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Praying hard right now!
Psalms 130:5-7 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. Let [us] hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.
Prayer Bears
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The Lord will always be there to get you through whatever you have to face. Praying!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Prayer Bears
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Maya saw this. http://rockstarronan.com/2011/09/13/i-hate-cancer/#comments
Know that I’m always here praying!
Psalms 121:3-5 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
Prayer Bears
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I feel like I know you… you describe the weirdness of my heart and life since my daughter Madeline died on Feb 8…