Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

I sit at the table having lunch.  I’m looking at 5 little urns that line my fire place mantel.  They need to be dusted.

We gather around the table.  The kids have a friend for dinner.

Axel:  ”Can H hold Tuesday’s urn?”

Um, why not.  Kids love to hold things, right?

Me:  “Here you go.  Be careful.”

He holds it with this confused smile on his face.

I fake some sort of normal reaction and say nothing.

Kid:  “Thanks.”

Me:  ”You bet.”

I wipe my sweaty hand on my apron and reach for my wine.

No one mentions that the little jar he’s holding hold’s 1/5th, (minus the 1/2 that’s under a weeping cherry tree in North Carolina,) of their buddy’s sister’s remains.  I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.  Does he wonder why the hell he’s holding this jar?  If he knew would it freak him out.  Would he run screaming from the house?  Would he not want to stay the night if he knew she died here?  Could he ever begin to understand that it was a beautiful, sacred moment?  Not the scary thing it sounds like.

I dust those 5 little urns, because 5 urns made sense when we had 16 hours to plan for “arrangements.”  I’m sure we should have given it some forethought, but well, you know.

Now I’m thinking about painting a wall, because I’m always thinking about painting or re-painting some wall to make this space in which we live feel different.  Better?  Should I take the urns in to consideration?  They look nice there now. We can’t have the new wall clashing with the urns.  Will I always have these 5 little urns on my mantle?  Isn’t that where you’re supposed to keep your urn?  I read of a family who put their beloved’s ashes on top of the tv, but we’ve got a flat screen and that just seems f’d up anyway.  It makes so much more sense to have them on the mantle, where you see them in movies about people with dead people in their family.

If you don’t have a mantle, than you are forced to have the same conversation we had while living in the RV.  Where do you hang the stockings?  You wind up taping them to something that makes some sort of sense to you, and that must be the reason the urn winds up on the tv.

I think I imaged that the kids would move out someday and want to take their sister’s ashes in the little urn they picked out when they were 2.5 and 5 and 7, to what, college?  Their first apartment?

“Yeah, I picked up the couch on Craig’s list and it’s my parent’s old t.v. and that little, tiny urn on the milk crate next to my docking station, oh yeah, that’s my sister’s urn.  I painted the wall to match.”

Perfect.

So here I sit, at the table having lunch, looking at those little urns.  I guess instead I could be sitting here thinking about the faded, fake flowers that someone left at her grave that I need to go dust off.

*If you have a judgmental comment you’d like to leave, please feel free to stick it up your ass.

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84 Responses to Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

  1. jessica says:

    I didn’t mean to discourage you from leaving a comment. Your comments are always lovely. I was speaking to anyone who wanted to say hateful things about cremation. Those are the only ones required to do the suggested shoving. peace.
    J

  2. Samantha says:

    Tuesday has been on my mind a lot lately… I’m sitting on my couch reading your post and I kept looking up at my mantle wondering how it would feel to hold on of my children there… There, but not there…it is a painful thought. I’m so sad you and your family have has to live your life without her with you. I think of piper often as well. Being a twin who almost lost my twin, I feel a connection to that beautiful little girl. You have such a beautiful family, Jessica. I love seeing pictures of their smiling faces on fb.

    As always…. Holding you close to my heart…

  3. Tara says:

    I think alot about you and your family. We don’t know each other but you have forever left an impression on my life. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child ever lessening or even becoming bearable. It will never make sense either. As you find your way to somehow accept and cope, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I’m so sorry that you and your family are without your beautiful precious Tuesday.

  4. Missy says:

    It was good to see a post. It was a good post too. Kids are great for making you think, aren’t they? Wonder what Axel was thinking, wonder what his friend was thinking. Having the ashes is a good thing and each one can decide where and how they will keep them. You have given them that opportunity. They will decide the significance of where they keep them. Good job!

  5. Bonny says:

    I have no great words. I can not imagine the pain you endure. ((Hugs))

  6. Cousin Amy says:

    I love u!

  7. Kelli says:

    Your words always touch me deeply. You truly embrace life…the good and bad that has come with it. You make more sense than you probably realize. Sending you a virtual hug, for what it’s worth.

  8. Erin says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us jk. You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo

  9. Susan says:

    I don’t know why anyone would want to judge?! However, I see it on other blogs…..so I get it. Your words are so honest, so real. I am only a cyper reader that found your blog just before Tuesday was sick. Amazing how this little girl found her way into so many hearts. I remember her through a video you posted with her dancing with her sister in her tutu. So precious, so innocent, so beautiful. Your an amazing family just trying to live.

  10. Ali says:

    The way you write through your grief is raw, beautiful, messy, and perfect. I can’t imagine surviving what you have endured. I don’t know you. I don’t know your family. But I read your blog and tearfully squeeze my children a little tighter, a little longer.

  11. Amy says:

    My friend Ali shared your blog with me today. I have a little urn, actually it’s a box, with our daughters ashes in it. It sits on the built in bookshelves next to our mantle. I like the feeling knowing that part of her is with us….with us in the everyday happenings, the busiest part of the house. Maybe you feel that way too. I agree with what Ali wrote…the way you write about your grief is raw, beautiful, messy and perfect. My guess is you write that way because that’s what grief is. Sometimes its raw and messy, other times beautiful and perfect…and then there are times when it’s all of those things all at the same time. I love your realness ( is that even a word?). The reality is, a day never goes by where I don’t think about my daughter, miss her and think about that box of ashes sitting on our bookshelves next to our mantle…

  12. ChiTown Girl says:

    Welcome back, it’s been a while. :)

    This post was just beautiful. I admire how completely honest you are when sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. xoxox

  13. Shannon B. says:

    Beautiful post, beautiful photo. Tuesday should be with you still, twirling dresses with her sister. My heart still breaks to think that she had to leave you much too soon. xoxo

  14. Gail E. says:

    I come here often to see if you’ve posted anything. I would love to hear about your kids. How they are doing. I really like the idea of the 5 urns. They must be very special to each of Tuesdays brothers & sister. Please let us hear more about them.

  15. Sara says:

    I think 5 urns sounds totally right. Beautiful picture.

  16. debi9kids says:

    Ok, for a minute there I was going to ask you to send me the email addresses of the judgemental assholes leaving you crappy comments…

    Jess, I don’t think there is ever a right way or a wrong way to handle death. Just your way.
    What ever makes you comfortable is what works and screw anyone else who doesn’t get it.

    LOVE you. always.

  17. Kristen says:

    I hate having to dust off the plastic flowers at the cemetery. Then I wonder who left the flowers for my boy, and how faded do I let them get before I throw them away? Good luck.

  18. Sarah says:

    I think 5 urns is such a sweet idea (if you can consider anything from this “sweet”) .
    And who the heck would leave YOU judgmental comments? :-/

  19. Lynn Worley says:

    I don’t know if you’ve seen it but Carly, the name in the sand lady, has a friend who sells cremation jewelry. Don’t know if you’d ever want to do that with a small amount of Tuesday’s remains or not. If not, what Sue also does is put sand from Christian’s beach, where the names are written, in the jewelry. I have two different pieces of jewelry from her. Her website is here:
    http://sueellasignaturedesigns.blogspot.com/
    Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
    Isaiah 43:1-3a But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel…
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  20. Chrisy says:

    I just love you and your family. That’s it.

  21. Stacy says:

    I love your writing. I’m sorry that you have this to write about, but your honesty is so real. Thinking of you and your family and especially sweet Tuesday.

  22. Ashley Cook says:

    Sometimes when you write your grief is palpable.. tonight I find myself with tears… beautiful… horrible…. so many things at once. Piper’s vitality in stark contrast. Some day your kids will have their own homes…. their own children… and I am sure that they will have a special place for Tuesday……I am a clumsy person by nature… the thought of an urn terrifies me…….I’ve never seen one for real…. Jessica you are dancing in the rain.

  23. amiee says:

    hi jess. i think of you often and wonder how you are doing and then a post comes up and i read it and i realize you, this lovely person i consider a friend, are living, living in this and with this and only you can say it in a way that punches to the gut but also still lets you breathe somehow.

    i am so sorry still, for your loss of tuesday, for the need to question about urns and paint and how these two things will meet, over and over. and yet i know in the sorrow you are still living and growing and lovely. and when you write it and share it, i can only say thank you for the sharing. and send my love to you and all of your family.

  24. Lynn Worley says:

    Continuing to lift up prayers!
    Isaiah 12:2-5 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. And in that day shall ye say, Praise the LORD, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted. Sing unto the LORD; for he hath done excellent things: this is known in all the earth.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  25. Tonya Staab says:

    Love you Jess. Such a beautiful photo. 5 little urns makes perfect sense to me. Sending you all many hugs.

  26. I understand every word and empathize with your emotions. we can only do our best- luckily your best makes perfect sense. I love the 5 little urns, and your kids will all love that they each have part of Tuesday one day. you are a wonderful mother. keep hanging on. xx

  27. Carrie says:

    At least you have an urn… or five…

    Better than the original plastic box.

    Someday we should verify if our dead kids’ ashes shared a little wooden box. I wonder if the funeral home even knows. Probably not, they probably don’t keep track of that sort of thing.

    Did I tell you about my vision of the future wherein my last living ancestor has an entire house full of urns that have been passed down through the generations and nobody knows what to do with them and all because I can’t bear to let my kid’s ashes be more than two rooms away from me?

  28. Lynn Worley says:

    Always lifting up prayers!
    Psalms 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  29. Maya says:

    I love you. I wish I could give you a hug. Fuck Cancer.

  30. Jay says:

    I’m thinking about starting an organization whose sole purpose is to change the name of the thing that we currently call “urn.” I don’t like the word, and while I don’t have any replacement candidates yet, I think almost anything would be more pleasing to the ear. Once the name is changed, I may finally purchase one.

    -Jay
    President
    Urn Elimination Co.
    A Division of J&C Enterprises, LLC

  31. Anna says:

    I have been following your site on and off for a while, since our friend’s daughter got diagnosed with AML, at 2.5 years old. She is now 4.5 years old and has her second relapse following two bone marrow transplants. I am halfway across the world from them and trying to be supportive through email. And shit scared for them and their family because the doctors aren’t giving hope. Please think of them if you can. I am feel so sorry, angry and helpless about this happening to innocent children and their families :(((

  32. Lynn Worley says:

    Still here praying in Seattle!
    Isaiah 26:3-4 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  33. April M says:

    Hugs, just hugs from one twin mom to another..NO ONE should ever have to go through this or think about where an urn (or 5) should go. It does not follow the natural order of things for a mother to watch a child die. I am so sorry.

  34. Wish I just could hug you tight

  35. Lynn says:

    Still continuing to lift up prayers.
    2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  36. Dawn Bromley says:

    Hi Jessica – I’m not sure if you have ever heard of this but there is a company that will take a small amount of the ashes and make a diamond from the carbon in them. Their website if it is something you are interested in is http://www.lifegem.com/

  37. Lynn says:

    Always lifting up prayer!
    Psalms 40:5, 11, 13 Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. (11) Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. (13) Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  38. Lynn says:

    Know that you’re always in my thoughts and prayers!
    2 Samuel 22:2-3 And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me…
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  39. Lynn says:

    Know that I’m still here praying for your family!
    2 Samuel 22:29-33 For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness. For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him. For who is God, save the LORD? and who is a rock, save our God? God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  40. Lynn says:

    Still praying hard!
    Psalms 5:1-3 Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  41. Brittani says:

    I don’t know if you would even remember me, but I met you when you were pregnant with Piper & Tuesday. You were visiting Dana and came to our church. Early 2006 maybe …. I remember thinking how hard that must be, having TWO bodies inside your own. I remember Dana telling us months later about you getting up every hour to feed the babies and never sleeping. I have had 2 children of my own since then. Dana kept us updated on Tuesday. My own daughter was almost 1 year old when I walked into church one Sunday morning and read the letter you sent letting us know she passed away. I cried the whole service. I couldn’t wait til the service was over to go and physically touch my own babies. I cried the whole way home. I have loved you and your family from a far for a long time. I’ve never felt the words were right to write you, but maybe they don’t have to be. I think of you every day. Please don’t ever stop writing.

  42. Lynn says:

    Continuing to lift up prayers!
    Psalms 31:1-3 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  43. Lydia says:

    Still praying… Sending love.

  44. Lynn says:

    Am so blessed to be able to pray for your family!
    Psalms 31:14-16 But I trusted in thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me. Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies’ sake.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  45. Lynn says:

    Praying in Seattle!
    Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  46. Emily De Laquil says:

    My heart weeps for you and your family over the loss of a beautiful, young, precious soul. I first read your blog only months before Tuesday died and although I do not know you, I cried uncontrollably when I read your post that she had passed. I think about you often and check your blog every now and then.

    God Bless you and yours!

  47. Lynn says:

    Always here praying!
    Psalms 86:1-4 Bow down thine ear, O LORD, hear me: for I am poor and needy. Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my God, save thy servant that trusteth in thee. Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily. Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  48. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying right now!
    Psalms 86:15-16 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant, and save the son of thine handmaid.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  49. Brandi says:

    Jess,

    I haven’t been to visit here in a while. But I felt it appropriate to visit today. And in reading this post I know what you mean. To an extent. When we had Donnie cremated I had his ashes put into little urns for all the kids. The girls have theirs in their rooms with a picture of their dad. It is hard some days to see those urns and remember the man he once was. Tuesday will forever be a part of so many lives. I wish I were there to give you a hug today. Love ya JK.

    Brandi

  50. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying hard in Seattle!
    Psalms 46:1-5 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  51. Julie Christian (Venter) says:

    Jess and family – just wanted to send a little love your way. We think of you often and you will always be our hearts. :)

  52. Lynn Worley says:

    These verses are so comforting. Continuing to pray!!!!!!!!!
    Revelation 21:1-4 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  53. Lynn Worley says:

    It’s always amazing to know that the Holy Spirit Himself is praying for you!
    Romans 8:26-27 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  54. Lynn Worley says:

    In Chronological Bibles Job is the first book. The promise of the resurrection was given from the beginning! What comfort these words give! Praying!
    Job 19:25-27 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  55. Lynn Worley says:

    These verses contain the reason why we have the hope of life to come. Know that I’m here praying so hard!
    Ephesians 1:17-20 That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places…
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  56. Lynn Worley says:

    Continuing to pray!
    Psalms 28:1-2 Unto thee will I cry, O LORD my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit. Hear the voice of my supplications, when I cry unto thee, when I lift up my hands toward thy holy oracle.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  57. Lynn Worley says:

    Continuing to pray hard for your family!
    Psalms 28:8-9 The LORD is their strength, and he is the saving strength of his anointed. Save thy people, and bless thine inheritance: feed them also, and lift them up for ever.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  58. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying!
    Psalms 31:5, 7-8 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth (7-8) I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities; And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  59. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying in Seattle!
    Psalms 69:1-3, 13 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God…But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  60. Lynn Worley says:

    Know that I’m continuing to pray!
    1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  61. Lynn Worley says:

    Know that I’m praying!
    Psalms 118:14-16 The LORD is my strength and song, and is become my salvation. The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tabernacles of the righteous: the right hand of the LORD doeth valiantly. The right hand of the LORD is exalted: the right hand of the LORD doeth valiantly.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  62. Lynn Worley says:

    Know that the Lord is always with you, wrapping His loving arms around you and holding on tight!
    Psalms 18:2-6 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid. The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me. In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  63. Lynn Worley says:

    Stopping by to let you know that you’re always in my thoughts and prayers!
    Psalms 91:1-2, 4 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. (4) He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  64. Lynn Worley says:

    Continuing to pray!
    Psalms 91:14-15 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  65. Lynn Worley says:

    The Lord is working, even during trying times! Praying!
    Romans 5:3-5 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  66. Lynn Worley says:

    Know that I’m continuing to pray!
    Isaiah 25:4 For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  67. Lynn Worley says:

    Saying extra prayers as you head into the holiday season without Tuesday!
    Psalms 62:5-6 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  68. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying!
    Lamentations 3:21-25 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  69. Lynn Worley says:

    Still praying hard in Seattle!
    Psalms 34:4, 6-7 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. (6-7) This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  70. Lynn Worley says:

    Lifting up prayers right now!
    Psalms 20:5-7 We will rejoice in thy salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners: the LORD fulfil all thy petitions. Now know I that the LORD saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  71. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying in Seattle!
    Psalms 23:4-6 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  72. Lynn Worley says:

    Am here praying!
    Psalms 27:1, 4-5 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?…One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  73. Lynn Worley says:

    Know that you’re always in my thoughts and prayers!
    Psalms 27:7-9 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  74. Lynn Worley says:

    I’m here praying right now.
    Psalms 116:1-5 I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  75. Chrisy says:

    Is it strange I check this blog every day? It hasn’t changed for a while, but I still find so much comfort in your words. Love you!
    Chrisy.

  76. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying right now.
    Psalms 9:9-10 The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  77. Lynn Worley says:

    Praying in Seattle!
    Psalms 32:6-7 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him. Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  78. Lynn Worley says:

    These words are always so very comforting to me! Praying!
    John 14:1-3 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  79. Lynn Worley says:

    Always praying!
    John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  80. Lynn Worley says:

    On this Christmas Eve look to the only source of true hope, peace, and salvation! Praying!
    Matthew 1:20-23 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  81. Penny says:

    I think about you and your family often. Who cares what people think. You are amazingly strong. God Bless you guys.

  82. Amy says:

    Hi Jessica -

    Your pic gives me chills.

    I cannot remember who first directed me to your blog, but I began following two years ago, just before Tuesday went to join the angels. I have since had a high school friend who had one of his twin boys diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Fortunately, he is doing really well. Flew through his surgery and treatments with flying colors. The constant scans and follow ups, of course, are nerve wracking to his parents, friends and family. Every time I receive an update I think of Tuesday.

    You are an amazing girl. I admire you. And I enjoy hearing what you are up to from time to time, though we have never met.

    xx

  83. Amy says:

    So sorry – I meant to post to your Angels We Have Heard on High post …

  84. Jolie says:

    Hello. Been thinking about Tuesday lately. She pops into my head every so often. Her bravery, her story, and her family. I wish you all a blessed holiday season. xoxo

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