Oregon
On the 101 from Cape Lookout State Park to Astoria.
I could stop now-stay in Oregon for a good while. Bend was our first stop and we pulled in to town after dark and after 10 plus hours on the road. Woke up, and love at first sight. Definitely #1 on our “Hell yeah, I’d move here!” list. Next stop was Portland, followed by the coast, which are currently tied for second place. Oregon
seems to be fitting us quite nicely. Conversely, #1 on the “I hope to never be forced to live here” list is Rawlins, Wy, where we spent our first night at the KOA by the prison.
But let’s talk about Portland. I love Portland.
Since we couldn’t fit the RV and tow car down the streets of the funky Hawthorne neighborhood where Charley’s sister Wintry, bother-in-law Paul, and not-so-wee-anymore, cousin Aoife (eee-fa) live, we parked the Rig south of town and stayed with them for a few days. (Like how I throw the word ‘Rig’ around like that? I’m a professional now.) Hawthorne neighborhood was a great break from sitting for miles and miles and hours as you can walk everywhere you want to go, and where you want to go, is to food shacks. It is littered with these, on the sidewalk, yummy, ethnic food shacks. This works out beautifully for those of us with small children that don’t want to sit still at a restaurant and who love yummy, ethnic food. *disclaimer: These are most likely not referred to as “food shacks” by those in the know.
The kids had a ball playing with their cousin at Aunt Winnie’s, at home, Tumbleweeds Playschool, and playing some bean bag game with Uncle Paul, that, like it or not, was called Corn Hole.
From there we packed up and all of us headed to the coast, Cape Lookout State Park to be exact, where Paul led a 3 day kayak trip. On day two, while Charley worked from his office-a-go-go, Paul led me and the boys on a sea kayak outing that involved passing through a family of harbor seals, huge flocks of pelicans, and a stop to hunt for sand dollars. It was spectacular. It’s useless for me to even try and explain. For a land locked girl, I feel very at home near the water.
This is what I needed.
Last night, Charley and I were the only two, on a huge beach, at low tide, under the harvest moon, and I felt that tininess that always resets me. That, in your face, reminder for me that I will never figure this cancer mess out because I’m not designed to figure it out. I am tiny. I am just another tiny, yet invaluable, part of this beautiful and painful world and it is ok to let go and be pulled by the tide. I like that. It is freeing.
This trip is freeing. It is freeing to walk to the video store in some oversized, unflattering outfit while my clothes are in the wash and not care who sees me and thinks, Oh God, she must be a mess, I saw her at the video store and you should have seen her….
It’s freeing to come and go as we please. To not even know where we are going next, but knowing that we are going there together. It’s freeing. It’s freeing to be able to talk about Tuesday to the guy at the running store in Bend and know that is one more person that heard the word Neuroblastoma, and yet, know that I won’t have to see him again; to pass him on the street, knowing that he’s thinking, “There’s that lady who’s kid died.”
It’s freeing to still be in pajama’s at 10 in the morning, even thought you are in one of the most spectacular places on earth, because that is what you feel like doing and no one has to be anywhere at any time. Time is no longer a matter of life and death.
She get’s her chemo in 7 minutes.
We have to flush her lines in an hour.
We need to be to be at radiation oncology by 8 am.
It’s freeing.
We can just be.
Right now I’m good with that.
Jess-
I don't know you in person. I found your blog right after Tuesday died. My heart broke. I didn't know how to comment. In fact, I've never commented on your blog. But I've walked beside you on this road – from a far. An anonymous visitor to a hellish, indescribable situation. One that I can't even imagine. But you are doing it. Breathing, in and out – even when it feels like your lungs will explode – getting up every morning – and living. You are so strong, and I'm greatful that you are sharing this with us. I live in Northern California (Santa Rosa), if you are driving down this way – I'll give your and the "rig" a huge wave!!! Let me know if you want any awesome beach recommendations – there is a huge redwood forest (Armstrong Redwoods) in Sonoma County – you can get so lost in the enormity of it – probably would feel pretty familiar. Anyway – don't want to bother you, just thought I'd say that I'm sending you hugs as you continue on this journey…
-Laura Hidalgo
boy, oh boy, are you going to have your hands full when you get back home and one of your kids asks their friend if they want to come over and play "corn hole"…that is hilarious!
hopefully the open road will put you and your family back together one piece at a time!
sending prayers and thoughts your way,
-trisha
I'm thrilled to hear you like this. Free. Keep up the good work.
Welcome to Oregon… from one (formerly) landlocked gal to another, the ocean certainly has therapeutic power. Glad our little piece of heaven gave you a little peace for a little while.
I love the picture of your son up in the tree writting. So sweet. So happy you have found a tiny piece of peace.
Ahh, that sounds so nice: to just be. You guys deserve it and I'm so happy for you that you get to feel free right now.
P.S. You are making me want to move to Oregon too! 🙂
Great pics! It looks beautiful, peaceful and food for the soul to be in a place like that. I hope you get lots more of this 'therapy'.
Mmmmm…it does sound like you gots some good remedy up there. Love to read this.
And, if you don't mind, can you keep your "hell yah I'd move here" list going as you find those places? It's helpful to those of us trying to figure out where those places just might be.
To "just be" is such a gift. I am glad that you and your family are enjoying your time together and with family.
tim and i lived in portland for a year, the northwest neighborhood on the other side of the river. we almost moved to bend, but then family and homesickness called us back down here. i love oregon so…miss so many parts of it. it would be first stop on our 'hope to leave for the summer' trip. tim's family lives in and around portland and i wonder sometimes what things would be like if we had stayed.
i am so glad to hear that you are finding a freedom and a place in all of this roaming. i love the photos, love hearing the account of the trip. if you are headed south i will have a bottle of wine with your name on it…as long as i get to drink it with you. hugs.
Perfect post !!
We play corn hole here in Ohio, too. I hate that name.
Enjoy your trip!
Corn hole? Perhaps your family can dedicate some quality time to coming up with a more palatable name? Yeesh.
I hope this trip can help replenish your soul….though it won't heal you. Nothing will heal the pain. Even time won't heal you (whoever said it would is a complete moron). You'll simply learn to live with it. To live with the hole in your heart and your life. You'll cry less and your soul will begin to feel lighter, but the pain will still be around.
Hugs to all of you. My thoughts are with you all.
HUgs to you all! I am so happy that you are feeling free.
Love you. That's all.
Did you know our kids actually play corn hole at school? Good ol' Mr. Doug.
I can't tell you how proud I am of you for taking this plunge. I know you have faced the scariest thing you will ever face. You are doing an amazing thing for yourselves and your family. I am wearing my yellow bracelet and my birdie necklace right now, and thinking of you, loving that I get to know you, and that you are sharing a piece of you with the world. We are so lucky to have you.
M
if you're headed to washington state, go to ruby beach. it's incredible.
Hi Jess and Charley, so glad it's going well so far. I think about you often. Just wanted to let you know that I have family in Rawlins, WY. I've only been to visit once, but I agree with your sentiment!!! Pam
Jess,
You sound like you (only different) and it's nice to "hear".
Living without time is perfect… really perfect, because it lets you just focus on those you love and nothing else. (it's why i love homeschooling so much!)
Your photography is so lovely. It's wonderful to see you at it again 🙂
LOVE you Jess!
ps We are expecting SNOW next week. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Call me before you plan to come so i can give you the weather. LOL (I can't believe I live in the mountains now!)
We can't even begin to tell you how much fun we had while you were here! When we pulled up in front of our house after parting ways at the coast, Aoife got out of the car and asked "Fenser? Akel? Piper?" She is still talking about them.
I went to the video store today and overheard one of the employees talking about a woman who walked in in an oversized outfit the other day. He said she looked free. and happy.
We miss you all already!
Safe travels wherever the wind blows you next…
The minute I saw your first picture I knew where you were. I live in Vancouver, WA just over the border from Portland. This part of the country is amazing. I'm so happy that it's maybe helping you along your difficult journey. Many blessings as you enjoy our lovely states!!!
Thanks for the update!
These are such comforting words that paint such an amazing picture. Praying!
Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
Prayer Bears
My email address
Wow!! What a great testimony to your 2nd post since hitting the road. It is awesome. I love the way you write because I then feel like I am there with you. I think of you guys every day. Tell Winnie I said hey. It's good to see you guys enjoying yourselves. It is such a catch 22, because you expect that people should know what you have been through by looking at you but at the same time you are glad that they don't. Very odd!! At any rate, I love the pics and your kids are gorgeous. Peace to all of you. Hope to see you in Virginia Beach!! love, cindy lou and maddie, too xoxoxoxo
AWESOME!!! It all sounds awesome and I want to get my own "rig" and do the same!!! Take care and remember – we want to hear when you in are in Michigan!!!
Truly awesome to see the spectacular pictures and read the freeing emotions as you go from port to port – thank you as always, for sharing! Just be, sweet Witt family –
love and hugs!!
Janice Rolfs
Yeah for Oregon! I have lived here and the midwest….I highly recommend here. The beauty alone is enough to make you smile! I am glad you had such a nice visit!
Yeah for Oregon! I have lived here and the midwest….I highly recommend here. The beauty alone is enough to make you smile! I am glad you had such a nice visit!
Hi, do you have an emailadress where I can reach you?
I've lost a child too, and I wanted to say something to you.
Yes, my email address is
jessica@thewhitts.com
🙂
You are truly amazing. Love to read your blog, I am amazed everytime I read a new posting from you. Your strength is inspiring and your pictures beautiful. Loved the picture of your son writing brought tears to my eyes as I know the pain of losing a sister, one I miss everyday, one I would love to my kids to know……..As always your and your family are an inspiration to families everywhere. God Bless you and your family.
This is such a wonderful promise. If Jesus wasn't who He said He was, He would have told us. But He IS and His promises are true! Praying right now!
John 14:1-3 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
Prayer Bears
My email address
i think about you often. I check your blog often. I hug my children closer and hold them longer because of stories like you and Tuesday. I'm glad you feel free.
I just wanted to say I'm so glad you enjoyed oregon! I was born and raised here (salem area/portland now) and couldn't imagine living anywhere else. we really do have the best of everything within hours of where ever you are 🙂 good luck on the rest of your journey!
NEVER do we think of you, as all those horrible things, you think, we think!! To us, you are not "that girl that…"! We are your friends. We ache for you. We love you. I am glad you are feeling free, but I hope you can come home to your friends and family, and feel free here too.
I am smiling, beaming at you and your courage:) xoxo
loved ready this. love hearing you at peace and feeling free. hugs!
Once again, such beautiful words! Love you! So glad you are able to be free!
love those photos….especially the ones of your boys…something about them sitting there by themselves…..not sure what it is but, it said something to me…
have a great trip….
peace..
Hi Jess,
Thanks for sharing your adventures on the road. I think of you and your family often and include you all in my prayers. We serve a faithful Lord and there is nothing like the ocean to remind us of that. I live in Portland and I'm thrilled that you loved it so much.
Big Hugs!
Angie
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!"
John 8;36
<3. I'm thrilled to hear how you are doing. and extremely jealous for you to be on a wonderful amazing road trip. enjoy it:)
I know this is a bit of an old post but I live in Portland and I LOOOOVE it. My only complaint is some of the drivers 🙂 besides that its jsut lovely. I’m glad you liked it here.
I know it seems odd to be commenting on an older post but I had to. I lived in PDX for a year & just moved back to OK in July. I laughed so hard when I read about the “food shacks.” You are right about Portlanders calling them something else. We always referred to them as either “the roach coaches” or (if you eat there often….and I did) “the carts.”
Hi, I used to read your blog a lot but then sadly lost it… When I found it again a few hours ago I started reading back through the last few months. I Love all of your pictures and really love your post on Bend. I’M FROM BEND. I love that town with all my heart. I live in Boise right now and was so excited when I saw you have been through both places! I think about Tuesday a lot and still picture your post from the day she passed. It hurts to look at all of your travel pictures and be so aware there is a very big part missing…Your all in our thoughts.