Blinded by the Light

Posted on January 31, 2009 by jessica
Please join us in celebration of Tuesday’s life
On Saturday, February 7th at 11:00 am
7522 South Pinery Drive
Parker, CO 80134
Children are welcome and encouraged. At 10:45 we will have a bike and wagon parade from our house to the equestrian center. Help us honor Tuesday by taking part in one of her favorite things, “Wagie rides”!
There will be food, there will be music, there will, no doubt, be tears and there will be so much love.
please RSVP to Jenn Mell at: 720-333-8184 or 720-344-8184 wjmell@q.com

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Blinded by the Light

Posted on January 31, 2009 by jessica
Please join us in celebration of Tuesday’s life
On Saturday, February 7th at 11:00 am
7522 South Pinery Drive
Parker, CO 80134
Children are welcome and encouraged. At 10:45 we will have a bike and wagon parade from our house to the equestrian center. Help us honor Tuesday by taking part in one of her favorite things, “Wagie rides”!
There will be food, there will be music, there will, no doubt, be tears and there will be so much love.
please RSVP to Jenn Mell at: 720-333-8184 or 720-344-8184 wjmell@q.com

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Tuesday Fiona Whitt

Posted on January 30, 2009 by charley

October 11, 2006 – January 30, 2009

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Posted on January 30, 2009 by jessica





I’m sitting in bed while Tuesday sleeps on my breast.  In the very same place, on the very same sheets that I nursed her two winters ago.  It was Valentine’s Day and I was taking silly photos of the girls with construction paper hearts on their heads to send to my beloved Twins Group.  I was nursing Tuesday and Spencer walked in and took a picture of us with his new camera.  Axel was trying to hop on one foot while wearing is ever present Super Man cape.  I remember everything about that moment.  The raw joy and pride I had watching all of these little people that I loved so much on a day that celebrates love.  

I’m nursing Tuesday in a gut-wrenchingly different sense of the word.  She is dying.  She will most likely not make it through the week, although we all know that it is in His time.  Not ours.  She is mostly asleep.  She is on high doses of Dilaudid, although until a couple hours ago, they were not high enough.  
The fantastic four had some sweet moments together this morning in our bed.  The boys balanced stuffed animals on their heads while Piper gave a play by play and Tuesday giggled.  I wonder what her stoned little mind was thinking.  I’m praying that we have a few more of those moments, although if we don’t, I will forever have that one.   The kids know that this is the end here on Earth for their sister.  Spencer is crushed that she wont get to take her Make-A-Wish.   Piper is flip-flopping between the world’s most charming child and whining for Tuesday to go back to the hospital.  Axel is being a 5 year old boy.  He just wants to know why the doctors don’t just burn up the cancer.  In some ways I worry about him the most.  All I know is that they are so loved and so cherished.  Very few kids will ever know their pain (thank God) but in many ways, few kids in this world will ever know this much love. 
We are in awe of the love that is being poured out to our family.  We could not do this with out all of that love.
I’ll write as I’m moved to do so.  We will let you know as her end draws near.  We will someday be able to read all of these comments and they will sustain us when we don’t think we can go on.  Continue to pray for God’s grace in this.
With love,
Jessica
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This Must b the Place, lyrics by David Byrne

Posted on January 28, 2009 by jessica
Home is where I want to be

Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb – born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along 

Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It’s ok I know nothing’s wrong . . nothing
Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you’re standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up and say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home – is where I want to be
But I guess I’m already there
I come home – she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can’t tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this is where I’ll be . . . where I’ll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I’m just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I’m dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh

My deepest fears were confirmed.  Tomorrow we take our precious daughter home.  Her cancer doubled in size in less than a week proving once and for all that it is horribly aggressive and no longer chemo sensitive.  We have no idea how to do this but we have no doubt we will be cared for every step of the way.  This is all I have in me.  Please pray for peace for our children, our parents and our siblings.  Tuesday, full of grace, you are our so very loved.

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